When you grow up in a small town, you take what you can get when it comes to entertainment. Aside from a bowling alley and a roller skating rink located ten miles from the house where I grew up, most of my adolescent weekends were spent "dragging Main Street"...or at the movies.
I still remember when the old run-down (former vaudeville) theater, "The Grand" re-opened its doors the summer before I turned twelve. Its shabby seats, the red velvet worn thin and nonexistent in places, and the stained and peeling art deco wallpaper adorning the side walls, indicated the old movie house had seen better days. The theater initially re-opened for weekends only -- showing one "family friendly" film (nothing rated over PG 13) per weekend for a total of five shows (Friday-Sunday nights and Saturday/Sunday matinees). For $5 a teen could buy a movie ticket, a bag of popcorn, a soda and a candy bar. If you were lucky, (pun intended) you would also probably get a first (or second or third) kiss and a private, parent-free experience if you sat in the balcony. Two plus hours of uninterrupted cinema, snacks and snogging for $5 -- now that's a cheap date.
"The Grand" is still open and is still showing family friendly films at reasonable prices. Run primarily by volunteers, it is recognized as a historical site, and the recent fundraising for new seats is helping the theater get a much needed face-lift while preserving its character. The projector now boasts 3D capabilities but the atmosphere is largely the same as it was in my childhood. Friday night, date night in the Melon Capital of the World, is likely to feature dinner at a local, family-owned Mexican restaurant followed by a movie at "The Grand."
Perhaps because of this, I have always found going to the movies preferable to VHS, then DVD and now Blu-ray rentals. While we have a Netflix queue filled with films we want to see, going to the movies is one of the few things from my childhood that still feels magical. If a movie is worth seeing, I believe it's worth seeing on the big screen. Although, I'm much pickier about movie theaters now that I'm older. I want to go to a recently cleaned theater where the arm rests are movable, the floors aren't sticky, the chairs plush and comfortable with the option to recline, and the crowd mature -- both in years and in behavior.
I saw eight of the nine best picture nominees this year in a movie theater. Although I didn't see any of them at "The Grand," it will not be surprising to those who know me that my favorites this year were filled with nostalgia and transported me to a different place and time. Without further adieu, my two cents on the 2012 best picture nominees, ranked in my order of preference.
9. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close -- This movie is filled with grief...and guilt. Its uplifting moments are too few and far between to rank higher on my list. While the young actor who played the main character captured the spirit of the boy in Jonathan Safran Foer's book by the same title, I found him too strange and petulant to identify or empathize with his pain. I read the book first, which is perhaps unfair to the film, and while I admire what the film was able to tackle given the nature and structure of the writing in the book, it still fell short for me.
8. The Help - I really like this movie. I just really liked the book better. The casting and costumes were perfect in this film and the performances are certainly worthy of the number of acting nominations represented on the ballot. Read it and see it -- man or woman, black or white, it's hard not to like The Help.
7. The Tree of Life - I admire this film on a number of levels. Amazing actors (given precious few lines of dialogue minus the whispered voice-overs) and incredible images and music fill the screen in what feels more like stepping into a moving work of art or a poem than watching a movie. The title literally tells it all -- this film shows everything from the origins of life to the way life plays out for a 1950's family. The non-linear plot and unique structure make the film artistic, but for me, not as enjoyable as many others on the list. Perhaps it was because I wasn't raised during this time, or the fact that I couldn't see any part of my own family in the family depicted in the film, but at the end of the day I felt that this film was beautiful to look at, and while I'm glad I saw it (albeit on the small screen), I likely won't feel the need to watch it again.
6. The Descendants - Amazing acting performances in an oh-so-Hawaii feeling film. I, like most women in America, adore George Clooney, who doesn't disappoint in this film. This movie is also based on a book which I haven't read but when I recently picked up a hard copy and thumbed through it at the book store, I could see pieces of the voice-over narration and dialogue directly lifted from the page into the movie script. The writing is the strength of this movie, and unlike Tree of Life, which felt alien and cold to me, this family feels all too real in all of the hilarious and heartbreaking ways.
5. Moneyball - I think it is a tremendous credit to this film that I, who dislike math and don't care much for baseball, would still rank this movie this high on the list. In fact, it is the type of movie that if I had seen it as a child, I might have chosen to teach math instead of English...it's just that good. I love Jonah Hill's character and enjoyed seeing him playing a role that wasn't "another character's overweight/drunk/high/disgusting friend." His performance was refreshing and spot-on. And then of course, there's Brad Pitt. Enough said. This may be one of my favorite baseball movies of all time...but it's still a distant second to The Natural.
4. War Horse - I wasn't prepared to like this film as much as I did. But between the history, the horse, the boy who loved his horse, and the many other side stories and characters who came in contact with the horse, it was two plus hours of riveting entertainment. I loved what this film had to say about war, love, and the human experience. The cinematography was gorgeous and certain scenes felt like snippets from other epic films of the past.
3. Hugo - I was pleasantly surprised by this film as well. I entered expecting to see a really good "children's movie," but instead I was transported to Paris in the 1920's. This movie is truly magical. The train station itself is perhaps the most powerful character in the movie. Ben Kingsley (as always) is amazing, and this film is perhaps the most visually appealing of all in a list of really visually appealing movies. I didn't want this movie to end, even though I was satisfied with the ending. This is a film I could watch again and again and see something new...and it is also a movie that prompted me to buy the book.
2. Midnight in Paris - Really, this film is tied for number 1 for me. I love everything about it - the acting, the characters, the costumes, the time travel, the dialogue and writing (Woody Allen at his best), and the way it made me feel. This is an amazing movie for any nostalgia junkie or aspiring writer. I loathe Owen Wilson and I still managed to love this film (and begrudgingly his performance). This is the most "feel good" film of the bunch. If you don't want to travel to Paris, read a Hemingway or Fitzgerald novel, or put on a Cole Porter record after watching this film, I fear you are hopelessly imprisoned by the 21st Century and should seek help for this affliction immediately...ideally by watching this movie again!
1. The Artist - For me this film had it all, and also had nothing at all -- who would have thought a silent, black and white, simple story brought to the screen could say so much? If the film doesn't win, I hope Jean Dujardin does -- he tells a story without saying a word (okay, maybe one word :) and it's impossible not to fall in love with his character, who is simultaneously charming, cheeky, insecure and sad. It's tough to top a Clooney or Pitt, but for me, Dujardin is the new Hollywood "it" man -- and one more reason to love all that is French on this list!
Overall, it was a great year for films that moved audiences through compelling stories vs. over-the-top special effects. Time to pop some popcorn, pour a soda, and get ready for that red carpet. May all of your movie-going experiences in the coming year feel grand.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
New Commentary Post - Ed News
Faithful Followers:
My blog has been collecting a bit of virtual dust lately, but I am still attempting to write on a regular basis...and looking forward (already) to warmer weather and a spring break. February can be the longest shortest month!
I would love your comments and feedback on my latest Ed News commentary. It was posted today, and focuses on the alternative evaluation process in APS (Aurora Public Schools) as a possible model for policymakers to look to as we move closer to SB 10-191 implementation, the new principal and teacher evaluation system (slated for statewide implementation in 2014).
Stay tuned later this week for my "Operation Oscar 2012" nominated best picture rankings and reviews!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Blogging Blues -- From Writing Time to Time to Write
Before the Denver Writing Project, recent writing endeavors, and beginning this blog, I used to start a piece of writing (usually long-hand, in a beautiful new, crisp journal) and never finish it. I wanted to write but I didn't have enough ideas, deadlines, readership or reasons to see a draft through to publication. I really liked writing titles. It was "the rest of the story" that I couldn't seem to spit out.
These days, it seems I have the opposite problem. I have so many things I want to write about, genres I want to try, books I want to review, stories I want to tell, amazing teachers I want to profile and interview...and my day job, three four-legged children, personal and professional responsibilities really seem to be getting in the way of the writing I want to do. (How do people with two-legged children do it?)
I've moved from writer's bock to writer's stopwatch -- so much to say, so little time. I've generated more writing this year than I did in the first five months of last year, and yet, if this little blog where it all began were a book, it would be coated in dust and cobwebs.
I am finding time to write -- proposals for conferences where I'd like to present, curriculum documents, emails, Tweets (recently), status updates, letters of recommendation for colleagues, reports, and on and on...what I miss is "writing time." Time, free of pressure, deadlines and other demands. Time to think...to reflect...to wonder about things in the world, some related to education but others just related to being a human being on this planet in the 21st Century.
My reading seems to be following the same pattern. I'm consuming so much information, but when asked about a really good book I read recently, I gave a colleague a blank stare. Good books? Oh yeah, I used to read those. But now, there's so many articles and list serves and blogs and Tweets and posts and videos and emails to catch up on and consume (commas omitted intentionally - who has the time for small pauses?) I feel compelled, even guilted into reading for informational purposes only. And yet, I'm always behind. It's hard enough to keep up on my "inbox" let alone my "Twitter queue." So many hundreds of 140 character blips to scroll through. Reading for pleasure? That's becoming a faint memory. Thank goodness for my monthly book club. If it weren't for that, I might not read "for fun" until summer vacation. At least, I think I might have some time then.
Time. The older I get, the more precious it becomes. And the more I learn, the more time I need to learn more, read more and write more. Time. Thank goodness for trails, treadmills and a few balmy days in January. If it weren't for them, when would I have think time?
Coincidentally, (or not?) time is one of the key factors I highlight as an essential component for teachers to engage in meaningful professional learning in my latest Ed News guest blog post (http://www.ednewscolorado.org/category/opinion). Time is critical for teachers and it is being slashed from schedules more quickly than money is being cut from budgets. Time is critical for students, too. For "meaty learning" like rich discussions, deep thinking, complex texts and collaborative projects all require time.
But for now, it's bedtime. Finding more writing time will have to wait. In the meantime, faithful readers, you can find me on Facebook or Twitter or face-to-face, eyes glued to my screen trying to catch up on...well, everything. Trying to make up for time already lost in cyberspace.
These days, it seems I have the opposite problem. I have so many things I want to write about, genres I want to try, books I want to review, stories I want to tell, amazing teachers I want to profile and interview...and my day job, three four-legged children, personal and professional responsibilities really seem to be getting in the way of the writing I want to do. (How do people with two-legged children do it?)
I've moved from writer's bock to writer's stopwatch -- so much to say, so little time. I've generated more writing this year than I did in the first five months of last year, and yet, if this little blog where it all began were a book, it would be coated in dust and cobwebs.
I am finding time to write -- proposals for conferences where I'd like to present, curriculum documents, emails, Tweets (recently), status updates, letters of recommendation for colleagues, reports, and on and on...what I miss is "writing time." Time, free of pressure, deadlines and other demands. Time to think...to reflect...to wonder about things in the world, some related to education but others just related to being a human being on this planet in the 21st Century.
My reading seems to be following the same pattern. I'm consuming so much information, but when asked about a really good book I read recently, I gave a colleague a blank stare. Good books? Oh yeah, I used to read those. But now, there's so many articles and list serves and blogs and Tweets and posts and videos and emails to catch up on and consume (commas omitted intentionally - who has the time for small pauses?) I feel compelled, even guilted into reading for informational purposes only. And yet, I'm always behind. It's hard enough to keep up on my "inbox" let alone my "Twitter queue." So many hundreds of 140 character blips to scroll through. Reading for pleasure? That's becoming a faint memory. Thank goodness for my monthly book club. If it weren't for that, I might not read "for fun" until summer vacation. At least, I think I might have some time then.
Time. The older I get, the more precious it becomes. And the more I learn, the more time I need to learn more, read more and write more. Time. Thank goodness for trails, treadmills and a few balmy days in January. If it weren't for them, when would I have think time?
Coincidentally, (or not?) time is one of the key factors I highlight as an essential component for teachers to engage in meaningful professional learning in my latest Ed News guest blog post (http://www.ednewscolorado.org/category/opinion). Time is critical for teachers and it is being slashed from schedules more quickly than money is being cut from budgets. Time is critical for students, too. For "meaty learning" like rich discussions, deep thinking, complex texts and collaborative projects all require time.
But for now, it's bedtime. Finding more writing time will have to wait. In the meantime, faithful readers, you can find me on Facebook or Twitter or face-to-face, eyes glued to my screen trying to catch up on...well, everything. Trying to make up for time already lost in cyberspace.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Commentary Published on Ed News!
Friends and Followers:
Education News Colorado graciously agreed to post my commentary on the importance of teaching public speaking skills and offering students the opportunity to take speech classes in high school. It was interesting for me to see what decisions the editor made and to think about the decisions editors make every day with respect to every writer's work -- what sentences get cut, revised or truncated and why? What paragraphing and punctuation changes are made and how do they alter the writer's message or style? The writing process continues to fascinate and sometimes flabbergast me...
Thanks as always for your support -- and teacher/writer friends: Education News Colorado seems to be a viable publishing opportunity for us and a news service that wants to hear firsthand from Colorado educators...so, if you haven't already -- start capturing all of the powerful teaching and learning going on in your classroom and share it with a larger audience!
Link to my commentary as published: http://www.ednewscolorado.org/2012/01/04/30524-commentary-in-a-virtual-world-speech-still-matters
For more about Education News Colorado visit: http://www.ednewscolorado.org/about-2
Education News Colorado graciously agreed to post my commentary on the importance of teaching public speaking skills and offering students the opportunity to take speech classes in high school. It was interesting for me to see what decisions the editor made and to think about the decisions editors make every day with respect to every writer's work -- what sentences get cut, revised or truncated and why? What paragraphing and punctuation changes are made and how do they alter the writer's message or style? The writing process continues to fascinate and sometimes flabbergast me...
Thanks as always for your support -- and teacher/writer friends: Education News Colorado seems to be a viable publishing opportunity for us and a news service that wants to hear firsthand from Colorado educators...so, if you haven't already -- start capturing all of the powerful teaching and learning going on in your classroom and share it with a larger audience!
Link to my commentary as published: http://www.ednewscolorado.org/2012/01/04/30524-commentary-in-a-virtual-world-speech-still-matters
For more about Education News Colorado visit: http://www.ednewscolorado.org/about-2
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Resolutions Revisited
Happy 2012 to my faithful followers and friends!
As I reflect on the past year I can't help but feel old. Not old in the achy joints, wrinkles and orthopedic shoes way (although a recent Zumba Toning class has awakened muscles I didn't know I had...ouch!), but old in the "where did the last year go?" way. It was a year ago, January of 2011, that I began this blog as a New Year's Resolution. And though memory is subject to lapses and faulty recollections, I believe this blog may very well be the first resolution I've ever kept for the duration of a calendar year. My 2011 writing journey included:
As I reflect on the past year I can't help but feel old. Not old in the achy joints, wrinkles and orthopedic shoes way (although a recent Zumba Toning class has awakened muscles I didn't know I had...ouch!), but old in the "where did the last year go?" way. It was a year ago, January of 2011, that I began this blog as a New Year's Resolution. And though memory is subject to lapses and faulty recollections, I believe this blog may very well be the first resolution I've ever kept for the duration of a calendar year. My 2011 writing journey included:
- 31 blog posts (or an average of 2-3 per month) and 13 official "followers."
- A month spent with other teacher writers over the summer through the Denver Writing Project where I generated 3 "polished" pieces and, more importantly, acquired over a dozen new friends
- A small paid writing gig through the Teacher Leaders Network where I submitted my first "long" piece in December, and signed a contract where I committed to write and participate in this "Writer's Guild" through June of 2012.
- Acceptance as a finalist in a 250 word essay contest through Las Olas Surf Safari where many readers supported me by voting for my blurb.
- An invitation to participate in a professional learning and curriculum writing cohort through the National Writing Project.
- The completion of two Lighthouse Writer's Workshop courses where I sat next in awe, learning beside real authors...
So apparently, it IS possible to keep a resolution. Especially if your resolution involves doing something you love. Who knew?
What will this year bring? Only time will tell. But in the meantime, thank you for taking the time to read, comment and encourage me. Thank you for being a part of my writing journey.
And for this year? I'll resolve...to keep writing.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
21st Century Talk: Communication Still Matters
Note: I'm in the process of "shopping" this piece to EdNews and will hopefully get it published somewhere (besides in this space with my faithful 13 followers :). Regardless, I owe special thanks to Laura Peace, whose classroom provided me with the anecdote to show what public speaking can do for a group of seemingly disengaged 7th graders and to Tara Harris, who graciously allowed me to follow-up our parking lot conversation with an interview on this subject.
21st Century Talk: Communication Still Matters
The 21st Century: an exciting time to be a learner. And a frantic, high-speed time for educators who are facilitating learning in brick and mortar classrooms by day and via online tools around the clock – grading, evaluating and commenting on student work on Googledocs, posting assignments and updates on social media sites or class blogs and wikis, logging onto professional learning communities to swap ideas, and staying connected and accessible to students through smart phones. The dismissal bells may signal the end of the school day, but in the 21st Century the virtual classroom door is always open.
Because learning can happen anytime and anywhere, teachers might feel in some ways like on-call doctors. And yet, amidst all of the texting, tweeting, and typing within and beyond school walls, I was struck this week that it is still face-to-face communication between teachers and students that offers the most powerful examples of authentic learning. The means of communicating may be limitless, but verbal communication skills matter more than ever before.
In the days before Winter Break seventh graders in a large, diverse Aurora middle school scramble to present speeches they spent the last several weeks crafting. After drafting and revising, conferring and rehearsing, it is their time, for four or more minutes, to stand before their classmates and deliver a message that is meaningful to them and meant to inspire their audience. The teacher, apprehensive about the final presentations and disheartened by the number of late and missing assignments and the groans and sighs she heard at the beginning of the term, witnesses the fruits of weeks spent modeling, sharing mentor text and supporting writers through the writing process. One after one, they present. The audience respectfully listens. And they’re good. Polished, practiced and proud of their work, each presentation rivals or tops the one before. Their voice matters, and allowing them to use their voice and supporting them with the tools, resources and structures to use it in a powerful way, the teacher sees the first evidence of meaningful learning and passionate engagement in her students, from the prolific to the struggling, nearly every seventh grader in the room has found success. One of the final presenters reminds his classmates: “"When you look around you and think that you have nothing, tell yourself, 'No, I have a future.'"
Teaching kids to use their voice in effective and powerful ways, matters. And for the first time, the new Colorado P-12 Academic Standards honors this by re-naming the content area formerly known as English/Language Arts, “Reading, Writing and Communicating” and by focusing on “oral expression and listening” standards (in addition to reading, writing, research and reasoning) across grade levels. While educators are apprehensive and skeptical about authentically assessing communication through current standardized testing practices, (and fear if it is not assessed it won’t be taught in-depth) speech and language arts teachers celebrated that the standards finally reflect, with equity, all four domains of literacy: reading, writing, speaking and listening.
In light of this it is a disheartening irony that budget cuts have impacted speech courses in Aurora’s comprehensive high schools. At some sites speech classes are not even offered within the master schedule and the only opportunity for students to work on public speaking is through extracurricular activities like speech and debate teams. Where speech classes are still offered, they are in danger of being cut. Beginning as soon as the class of 2015 in APS, high school speech courses will earn elective credit (vs. English credit) a decision speech teachers fear places these courses in precarious territory.
Tara Harris, Language Arts Assistant Department Chair and Speech and Debate Coach at Hinkley High School in Aurora, shares her worries about moving speech into elective vs. English department territory: “If speech courses become elective courses, my fear is that it will be cast to the side in times where TE is in question. One of the greatest rewards that many students earn is the knowledge that they do have a talent and can overcome their fears. They have also learned that public speaking makes their writing better, especially in the areas of organization, ideas, and voice.” She went on to say that currently her speech students enroll in the course for many reasons: including credit retrieval in English, to improve public speaking skills, to better prepare for the demands of college or the workforce, to overcome fears, prepare for speech competitions, and to gain additional practice in what for many Aurora students, is not their first or native language.
Most of us have only begun to dabble in the communication methods available to us as 21st Century citizens. But regardless of the tools available to teachers and students, communication matters. Our students deserve to have their voice heard, and they deserve to have access to courses and extracurricular activities that teach them how to use their voice in powerful, persuasive and provocative ways.
Monday, November 28, 2011
On Meeting Miguel - Twenty Minutes & True Thanksgiving
This morning I awoke, still sluggish from a gluttonous Thanskgiving break that included way too many calories and way too few treadmill runs. I groaned when the alarm clock went off, and grumbled groggily to myself during the twenty minute commute from my house to the campus on the plains where my day's work awaited me. To put it simply, I didn't wake up grateful. I was bitter that a restful and carefree break was over, and that a full school week stretched out before me. I thought about all the shopping I have to do between now and the next holiday, the decorating, and the actual day job duties that fund the presents I still need to purchase. Thinking about all of this made me tired, and it was only 7:20 a.m.
I didn't wake up grateful. But tonight, as I prepare to go to sleep, I am grateful. In fact, I am more thankful than I was just a few days ago when I celebrated Thanksgiving with a nation full of other thankful turkey-eaters.
Why?
Today, I met Miguel. Cynical, shy, withdrawn. Jaded. Negative. Defeated. Everything about Miguel made my brow furrow and my heart break. The scrawny 5th grader slouched in his seat and retreated behind his over-sized hooded sweatshirt. Using his body language as a repellent, his eyes cried out for an invisibility cloak. His posture screamed, "Don't bother. Leave me alone. Please."
Miguel was already on my radar before I entered the classroom. His concerned teacher asked me to watch him - a red flag in her gradebook, one of many struggling writers in the room. Assessments show Miguel reading at a "first grade level." He hadn't turned in a written assignment in a month. He was prompted multiple times to join the other students on the carpet for the demonstration, where he tapped his foot impatiently, willing the second hand to tick faster, so that he could return to his desk, slump further in his seat, tighten his hood around his head, and busy himself with a toy car quietly while everyone else around him engaged in independent reading or writing.
Instead, today, I forced him to confer with me. It took 5 minutes of soft coaxing, gentle questioning and hushed tones for him to pull his hood far enough back on his head so that I could hear his one word responses to my questions. A 10-year-old body encasing a troubled, hardened soul that felt more like that of a 17 or even 47-year-old.
So, first I talked. I spoke about how exciting it sounded to write a fictional narrative. To create a story where characters could do anything and problems could be resolved (or not) based on my decisions. That, I explained, is what everyone was working on today as writers. Revising fictional narratives.
"Miguel. I wonder...when you're not here at school, what do you like to do?"
"Play video games." Three words. The longest response to a question I had posed so far.
"Ah...video games. Hmm...I don't know much about them. Tell me, which ones are your favorites and why? When you play them are you a character?"
Slowly, the head lifted. The gaze met my own. The hood slipped off the head and onto the back of his shoulders. Life breathed into the small body and the hands set the toy car down to gesture. Skeptical at first, but quickly gaining momentum, Miguel told me stories. Stories of his video game world and the stories of his real world. Stories about a pet bird who smothered her baby bird to death (accidentally) because she was trapped in a cage that was too small. Stories about a favorite dog that ran away. Stories about a house he used to live in but has since "lost" - a casualty of foreclosure. Stories about his uncle's haunted basement and the fights he and his four siblings engage in when chores are assigned. And back to more stories of the gadgets, dreams and adventures he enjoys in the video game world.
Twenty minutes of storytelling. He talked. I jotted notes. And as the writing block drew to a close I simply said, "Wow. You are one of the most interesting 5th graders I've ever met. Look at all of the stories you told me."
A small smile quickly covered by concern. "I have thousands of stories in my head," he said. "I just can't write them."
"I can see that you do have stories to tell. So tomorrow, we'll write one together?" I suggested.
"You'll be back tomorrow?"
I nodded.
"So I can think of more ideas tonight. I can play my game and figure out what characters and story I want to tell..." he trailed off.
"Great idea."
"Video games as writing homework!" he giggled. A real chuckle that bubbled up and burst from his lips.
So, today I am grateful for twenty minutes with Miguel. For the opportunity to watch a dark, shadowed figure begin to see himself as a writer with stories worth telling. Stories that someone wants to hear. Tomorrow we'll write together and maybe, just maybe, Miguel will begin to see 5th grade as a place worth being visible.
There are so many Miguels, of various shapes and sizes, who would blossom with twenty minutes just for them on a regular basis. I've also seen what Miguel might become -- glimpses of his future where he thrives as a writer or becomes a more jaded, more cynical 7th grader, or sophomore, or...?
But tomorrow, I will write with Miguel. One word, one story at a time.
I didn't wake up grateful. But tonight, as I prepare to go to sleep, I am grateful. In fact, I am more thankful than I was just a few days ago when I celebrated Thanksgiving with a nation full of other thankful turkey-eaters.
Why?
Today, I met Miguel. Cynical, shy, withdrawn. Jaded. Negative. Defeated. Everything about Miguel made my brow furrow and my heart break. The scrawny 5th grader slouched in his seat and retreated behind his over-sized hooded sweatshirt. Using his body language as a repellent, his eyes cried out for an invisibility cloak. His posture screamed, "Don't bother. Leave me alone. Please."
Miguel was already on my radar before I entered the classroom. His concerned teacher asked me to watch him - a red flag in her gradebook, one of many struggling writers in the room. Assessments show Miguel reading at a "first grade level." He hadn't turned in a written assignment in a month. He was prompted multiple times to join the other students on the carpet for the demonstration, where he tapped his foot impatiently, willing the second hand to tick faster, so that he could return to his desk, slump further in his seat, tighten his hood around his head, and busy himself with a toy car quietly while everyone else around him engaged in independent reading or writing.
Instead, today, I forced him to confer with me. It took 5 minutes of soft coaxing, gentle questioning and hushed tones for him to pull his hood far enough back on his head so that I could hear his one word responses to my questions. A 10-year-old body encasing a troubled, hardened soul that felt more like that of a 17 or even 47-year-old.
So, first I talked. I spoke about how exciting it sounded to write a fictional narrative. To create a story where characters could do anything and problems could be resolved (or not) based on my decisions. That, I explained, is what everyone was working on today as writers. Revising fictional narratives.
"Miguel. I wonder...when you're not here at school, what do you like to do?"
"Play video games." Three words. The longest response to a question I had posed so far.
"Ah...video games. Hmm...I don't know much about them. Tell me, which ones are your favorites and why? When you play them are you a character?"
Slowly, the head lifted. The gaze met my own. The hood slipped off the head and onto the back of his shoulders. Life breathed into the small body and the hands set the toy car down to gesture. Skeptical at first, but quickly gaining momentum, Miguel told me stories. Stories of his video game world and the stories of his real world. Stories about a pet bird who smothered her baby bird to death (accidentally) because she was trapped in a cage that was too small. Stories about a favorite dog that ran away. Stories about a house he used to live in but has since "lost" - a casualty of foreclosure. Stories about his uncle's haunted basement and the fights he and his four siblings engage in when chores are assigned. And back to more stories of the gadgets, dreams and adventures he enjoys in the video game world.
Twenty minutes of storytelling. He talked. I jotted notes. And as the writing block drew to a close I simply said, "Wow. You are one of the most interesting 5th graders I've ever met. Look at all of the stories you told me."
A small smile quickly covered by concern. "I have thousands of stories in my head," he said. "I just can't write them."
"I can see that you do have stories to tell. So tomorrow, we'll write one together?" I suggested.
"You'll be back tomorrow?"
I nodded.
"So I can think of more ideas tonight. I can play my game and figure out what characters and story I want to tell..." he trailed off.
"Great idea."
"Video games as writing homework!" he giggled. A real chuckle that bubbled up and burst from his lips.
So, today I am grateful for twenty minutes with Miguel. For the opportunity to watch a dark, shadowed figure begin to see himself as a writer with stories worth telling. Stories that someone wants to hear. Tomorrow we'll write together and maybe, just maybe, Miguel will begin to see 5th grade as a place worth being visible.
There are so many Miguels, of various shapes and sizes, who would blossom with twenty minutes just for them on a regular basis. I've also seen what Miguel might become -- glimpses of his future where he thrives as a writer or becomes a more jaded, more cynical 7th grader, or sophomore, or...?
But tomorrow, I will write with Miguel. One word, one story at a time.
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